Monday, June 13, 2011

Always Learning

  I have some fascinating tales to tell of my Sunday here in Columbia, SC, but I am EXHAUSTED right now.  There is a surprise storm pounding the roof outside and we're settling into the couches to digest our chicken wings.
  So I'll tell you about something I am struggling with and trying to learn from.
  There is this plane that you reach in your walk with Jesus when you get close enough to FEEL His blessings.  It's tough to explain; I just attempted but had to delete all that I had written.
  This point in life is maybe different for everyone, but for me, this is the basics:  I am STARVING for any and all words from the Lord (written, spoken, preached, etc), I am anxious to approach him with everything I encounter, and I can see the evidence of His blessings in my life (physically and spiritually).
  I am finding that all these new and awe-inspiring revelations are making me so excited that I want to share it with others.  But, for some reason, I can't seem to figure out how to share without sounding condescending or 'holier-than-thou'.  I have hurt several people in my life, people I love and wouldn't ever want to hurt, by acting this way.  And when i try to explain myself, it just gets worse.
  For now, I have given up.  I pray desperately that God would seal my mouth shut unless He can prompt me with the perfect words.  I think of that Aaron Shust song, 'Give Me Words To Speak'.
  It speaks volumes for me at a time when I can hardly say anything.
  I am praying for wisdom and guidance.  Though God seems silent, He is here, helping me to hold my tongue and to just love others in silence.

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